GENERAL AUDIENCE POPE
FRANCIS
Saint Peter's Square
Wednesday, 24 June 2015
Wednesday, 24 June 2015
The
family - 20. Wounds (I)
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| PHOTO, papaboys.org |
Dear Brothers and Sisters, Good
morning!
In recent catecheses we have
spoken about the family suffering through the frailties of the human condition,
poverty, sickness and death. Today, however, we will reflect on the hurts that
are incurred in family life. When, that is, we hurt one another within the
family. The worst thing!
We know that in every family
history there are moments in which the intimacy of loved ones is offended by
the behaviour of its members. Words and actions (and omissions!) that, rather
than expressing love, dismiss it or even mortify it. When these hurts, which
are still rectifiable, are ignored, they deepen: they transform into
impertinence, hostility and contempt. And at that point they can become deep
wounds that divide husband and wife, and induce them to find understanding,
support, consolation elsewhere. But often these “supports” do not consider the
good of the family!
The depletion of conjugal love
spreads resentment in relationships. And often this disintegration “collapses”
onto the children.
There: the children. I would like
to meditate a little on this point. Despite our seemingly evolved sensitivity,
and all our refined psychological analyses, I ask myself if we are not just
anaesthetizing ourselves to the wounds in children’s souls. The more you try to
compensate with gifts and snacks, the more you lose your sense of these
spiritual wounds — so painful and so deep. We talk a lot about behavioural
problems, mental health, the well-being of the child, about the anxiety of
parents and their children.... But do we even know what a spiritual wound is?
Do we feel the weight of the mountain that crushes the soul of a child in those
families where members mistreat and hurt one another to the point of breaking
the bonds of marital fidelity. How much weight, do our choices have — mistaken
choices, for example — how much weight do they place on the soul of our
children? When adults lose their head, when each one thinks only of him- or
herself, when a dad and mom hurt one another, the souls of their children
suffer terribly, they experience a sense of despair. And these wounds leave a
mark that lasts their whole lives.
In the family, everything is
connected: when her soul is wounded in some way, the infection spreads to
everyone. And when a man and a woman, who have committed to being “one flesh”
and forming a family, think obsessively of their own need for freedom and
gratification, this bias affects the hearts and lives of their children in a
profound way. Frequently these children hide to cry alone.... We need to
understand this fully. Husband and wife are one flesh. Their own little
children are flesh of their flesh. If we think of the harshness with which
Jesus admonishes adults not to scandalize the little ones — we heard the Gospel
passage (cf. Mt 18:6) — we can also better understand his words on the serious
responsibility to guard the marital bond that gives rise to the human family
(cf. Mt 19:6-9). When man and woman have become one flesh, all the father and
mother’s wounds and neglect have an impact on the living flesh of their
children.
It is true, on the other hand,
that there are cases in which separation is inevitable. At times it becomes
even morally necessary, precisely when it is a matter of removing the weaker
spouse or young children from the gravest wounds caused by abuse and violence,
by humiliation and exploitation, by disregard and indifference.
There are, thanks be to God,
those who, sustained by faith and by love for their children, bear witness to
their fidelity to a bond they believed in, although it may seem impossible to
revive it. Not all those who are separated feel called to this vocation. Not
all discern, in their solitude, the Lord calling them. Around us we find
various families in so-called irregular situations — I don’t really like this
word — and it causes us to wonder. How do we help them? How do we accompany
them? How do we accompany them so that the children aren’t taken hostage by
either dad or mom?
Let us ask the Lord for great
faith, in order to see reality through the eyes of God; and for great charity
in order to approach people with his merciful heart.
Special greetings:
Having just returned from Turin,
I would like to address a heartfelt thank you to the people of Turin and
Piedmont for their warm welcome. I thank in particular Archbishop Cesare
Nosiglia of Turin, the priests, consecrated persons and all the bishops of
Piedmont for their heartfelt participation. A special thought goes to the sick
of Cottolengo, who by offering their suffering sustain the life of the Church.
From my heart, I thank the many young people for their courage, their witness
and their will to live the values of the Gospel. I would also like to thank the
civil authorities, law enforcement, volunteers, associations and movements, the
regional, provincial and municipal administrators, the world of labour and all
those who contributed to the realization of my visit on the occasion of the
exposition of the Shroud and the bicentennial of the birth of St John Bosco.
Dear people of Turin, I felt truly at home, embraced by your affection and your
hospitality. May the Lord bless all of you and your beautiful city.
I offer an affectionate greeting
to all the English-speaking pilgrims and visitors present at today’s Audience,
including those from England, Scotland, Wales, Ireland, Sweden, Australia,
Indonesia, Japan, the Philippines, Vietnam, the Islands of the Bahamas, Canada
and the United States. May Jesus Christ heal every wound present in the life of
your families, and may he make you witnesses of his mercy and love. May God
bless you all!
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